Amy, the Crunchy Domestic Goddess, wrote about the disconnect between birth in the real world and birth as it is portrayed in popular media and its affect on women and men and how we understand birth.
Portrayals like the seething Katherine Heigl, stuck sitting on a bed while an OB bitches her out in Knocked Up may be funny to those of us who have felt the intensity of birth turn us into warrier women but it doesn’t really have anything to do with reality. That’s not what birth looks like. That’s entertainment. Unfortunately, these days, entertainment is where our culture defines itself.
People grow up believing that birth resembles what it looks like on TV and in movies.
I wrote about the problem with in my article Media and the Problem of Surgical Birth. I called out the writers and producers of that show for failing women by showing them a totally unrealistic labor turned emergent surgical delivery, complete with doctors yelling at mothers and the general dismissal of birth plans or any kind of ideal of a physiologically normal birth.
Amy’s article For Better or For Worse? Childbirth in Popular Culture quotes Pop Culture blogger Mallory saying:
“Childbirth in Hollywood movies is from a male perspective; rarely does childbirth show angles from the female viewpoint during the actual birthing.
We show killings, bombings, shootings, rapes and torture in movies, so why not show a woman giving birth accurately? Is it really that obscene and disgusting?”
What a bell ringer that is! That comment really resonated with me. So, I thought I’d take some time to detail a movie scene about a physiologically normal birth from a woman’s perspective:
We hear slow, deep breathing, the way one does when they have ear plugs in. The breathing becomes more deliberate and forceful and the camera tilts back up to now see the husband on the other side of the bed in front of the camera, holding an ipod, smiling into the camera with a loving look. His face is tired but not his demeanor. Man: You’re doing such a great job, babe. I’m so proud of you. The image dims and goes nearly black – the woman has closed her eyes. The sound of even, forceful breathing is changing to a more open mouthed humming that slowly becomes louder. A female voice says in a low, quiet voice, “good, that’s good, just like that. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, feel that pressure roll through you and away. Take a nice deep breath and blow the pressure away.” Another female voice, a little louder and a little more chipper says, “when your contraction is finished, I’d like to check your blood pressure, if that’s ok.” The woman in labour says, “Mmmmmm, uh, yeah, ok.” And opens her eyes. Cut to, image of woman leaning against a hospital bed. She is in a tank top and yoga pants. Her hair is pulled up into a sloppy pony tail. She blinks against the light as if she’s awakening from a nap. A man offers her a drink of water from a cup and straw, which she drinks, and a woman, her doula, is behind and wipes the back of her neck with a cool cloth. A nurse begins wrapping a blood pressure cuff around the woman’s upper arm and proceeds to pump it and check the pressure. Woman: “That one felt really intense and I’m starting to feel some pressure in the middle of the contraction.” The doula: “In your bottom? At the peak of the contraction?” Woman: “Yeah, I think I might try sitting on the toilet. I think I might have to go to the bathroom.” The doula smiles and meets the nurse’s eye. A silent exchange takes place and the nurse nods her head. The doula meets the man’s eye and gives him a big grin as if to say, “this is great!” The doula: “That sounds like a great idea. As soon as Kelly is done taking vitals, we can do a few contractions on the toilet and you can see if you need to pee or anything.”
And, scene!
In my experience, this is what birth looks like. It’s mundane and quiet and without any sense of panic or urgency. Most births are low risk and stay low risk, so with some preparation and good support, most women can have a birth that looks like this and not like this:
